Do you feel at home in the kink scene?

PrimalPreyPierre
Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2018 3:59 pm

Do you feel at home in the kink scene?

Postby PrimalPreyPierre » Fri Jul 27, 2018 10:26 am

This question is a bit off-topic because it doesn’t relate nails immediately, but here me out. So you could say I’ve got two main fetishes: women with long sharp fingernails and trampling. (For the people who don’t know what trampling is: it’s the fascination with getting stepped on by another person.) I’ve had both fetishes for at least 25 years. Both fetishes have a strong link with domination and sadism. So it’s quite logical that 20 years ago I ended up in the Dutch kink or BDSM scene.

I met some very interesting people and had some fun. I also had a D/s relationship for about a year where I was submissive to a very attractive lady. However, in hindsight that wasn’t a very healthy relationship because it bordered on emotional abuse. I also started to notice that the scene around me was changing. BDSM was getting some acceptance in mainstream media, but it didn’t drew mainstream people in. Instead it drew in a lot of “odd” people. So a lot of people with emotional problems and mental instability, unemployed, etc. Politically it started to lean very much to the left. Feminism is held in high regard. There was this idea that it should be all inclusive, so there seemed to be some agenda to force the acceptance of crossdressing and transgenders.

I don’t feel at home in such an environment. First of all, I come from a family with (relatively) mental stable and successful people. Many of my friends are quite successful in what they do and would once have been called yuppies. Politically I lean towards libertarianism. I have a thing against feminism (it’s about privilege not equality) and you could even call me MGTOW in a sense. I think transgenders have the right to be who they want to be and should receive fair treatment by a government. However, the do not have the right to force themselves into my life and demand my acceptance on a personal private level.

So I’m a kinky person but I seem to clash with every aspect of the kink scene. I’ve gotten into several arguments on Fetlife because I “dare” to criticize the kink scene. The nail fetish groups on FL are pretty much dead. I tried getting the ball rolling with a couple of posts but there just doesn’t seem to a group of people like we had on Nailbytes (and hopefully here). The very few posts that are on there are usually by crossdressers.

Recently I had an argument with a dominant transgender (MtF) because he posted a message in the “Lovers of Long & Sexy Fingernails” group, looking for someone to pay for getting his nails done. He would then shoot private photos and videos for that person. I said I had my doubts that would work because there is so much free nail material available on sites like Instagram for instance. Secondly I have a thing against monetization of fetishes. Yes, women who offer real life sessions are very important. But lately FL seems to get flooded with the get quick cash findommes and such. So I made the comment that posting commercially tinted posts might not be the best thing for that group.
Of course that triggered him and he went ballistic. It was the usual entitled rant with some extra element of him being a professional adult performer. So he thought he was above us all.

And at one point you start thinking: why do I do this even at all? What is the point? It costs to much time and energy dealing with such out of touch weirdos. And then I come here and think: well this is a nice normal place ;-)

So… that rant got longer than I expected. Does anyone else here have experiences with the kink scene? How much do you feel at home?

Kden
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2018 5:03 pm

Re: Do you feel at home in the kink scene?

Postby Kden » Fri Jul 27, 2018 11:16 am

I don't expect I'd feel very "at home" at all if I were heavily involved beyond just internet material. I'm a hunting, fishing, big truck driving, want to be in the wood far away from people kind of guy who happens to love long nails and a little kinky stuff. Not that that really matters, but it does feel like it would kindov clash with that scene.

I take absolutely no issue in anyone living their lives how they choose. I'm completely accepting of most everyone and anything, I just don't choose to be a direct part of it.

PrimalPreyPierre
Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2018 3:59 pm

Re: Do you feel at home in the kink scene?

Postby PrimalPreyPierre » Sat Jul 28, 2018 9:21 am

Kden wrote:I don't expect I'd feel very "at home" at all if I were heavily involved beyond just internet material. I'm a hunting, fishing, big truck driving, want to be in the wood far away from people kind of guy who happens to love long nails and a little kinky stuff. Not that that really matters, but it does feel like it would kindov clash with that scene.

I take absolutely no issue in anyone living their lives how they choose. I'm completely accepting of most everyone and anything, I just don't choose to be a direct part of it.


Yep, as soon as you mention hunting you'll probably be burned at the stake :lol:

indi500fan
Posts: 62
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2018 3:04 pm

Re: Do you feel at home in the kink scene?

Postby indi500fan » Sun Jul 29, 2018 2:09 pm

When the internet first "happened" I thought ... well this will be amazing because those with certain preferences can match up.
But I believe for things like the long nail fetish, it is so small in numbers that the odds are still very much against it.
As you say at a place like Fet...it is mostly pretty crazy and or heavy stuff.

PrimalPreyPierre
Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2018 3:59 pm

Re: Do you feel at home in the kink scene?

Postby PrimalPreyPierre » Mon Jul 30, 2018 4:54 pm

indi500fan wrote:When the internet first "happened" I thought ... well this will be amazing because those with certain preferences can match up.
But I believe for things like the long nail fetish, it is so small in numbers that the odds are still very much against it.
As you say at a place like Fet...it is mostly pretty crazy and or heavy stuff.


Well, it could be that there are actually many long nail fetishists out there, but that they don't identify as such. Long nails are very much a mainstream fashion thing. It's very close to the vanilla world so maybe it's just not very recognizable.

Vivienne
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2018 4:11 pm

Re: Do you feel at home in the kink scene?

Postby Vivienne » Wed Aug 01, 2018 3:59 pm

One of the ironic aspects to being in a fringe group that is often looked down upon is that you would think that would lead to understanding and empathy for other groups in similar positions. Sadly, it is not.

Pierre, when you say "Recently I had an argument with a dominant transgender (MtF) because he posted a message in the “Lovers of Long & Sexy Fingernails” group, looking for someone to pay for getting his nails done."

I agree with your point that it is hard to get other people to pay you money online. However, I must comment on your misgendering. She is a she. A transwoman is female, not male. By using the pronoun "he" and variations thereof during your post, you are insulting her and denying her right to be addressed as the gender she is. How would you feel if you were in her shoes?

PrimalPreyPierre
Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2018 3:59 pm

Re: Do you feel at home in the kink scene?

Postby PrimalPreyPierre » Sat Aug 04, 2018 8:00 am

Vivienne wrote:I agree with your point that it is hard to get other people to pay you money online. However, I must comment on your misgendering. She is a she. A transwoman is female, not male. By using the pronoun "he" and variations thereof during your post, you are insulting her and denying her right to be addressed as the gender she is. How would you feel if you were in her shoes?


Well, maybe my classification wasn’t completely correct, because he still has a penis and proudly shows it off on FL. So technically he isn’t 100% woman yet. He uses the “MtF Domme” label on FL.

But you do touch on a very common misconception: that someone can dictate what another person should think. Don’t get me wrong. I think that transgenders have rights just like everybody else. For instance, I think a government should be impartial and treat transgenders in the way they want to. That is one of the functions of a government, a kind of impartial referee.
However, I’m not the government. I’m a person and have the right to my own thoughts, believes and opinions in my personal life. And one of my opinions is that the world has gone bonkers about gender. Maybe calling him a he is an insult. But you thinking that you can dictate my thoughts on that is a kind of insult to me as well, although a light one.

As for my other personal feelings about transgenders. I simply don’t know what to make of it. They can give me both a sensation of turn on and disgust at the same time. Secondly, very often they lean to the left politically and have that SJW mentality. That immediately puts them on crash course with my liberal/libertarian brain ;-)


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